Post 9/11 Flying...

I’m back from vacation and I hate to be that person but I wish I was still in Florida.  I hate it when people come back from vacation and all they do is talk about and wish they were back to relaxing and doing nothing all day.  I always think to myself; “come on get back to reality already.”  Yet today, I find myself thinking how nice it was to be in sunny Florida and by the poolside bar enjoying a cocktail.  Oh well, I guess I have to snap out of it.

While traveling I did notice something that really pisses me off, it kind of goes with what happened a couple weeks ago with the killing of Osama Bin Laden.  Maybe it’s me but 9/11 really screwed up flying.  I had only flown maybe three times before 9/11 but I remember it being so easy and so relaxed that it was probably the easiest part of a flight.  Nowadays getting through security and onto an airplane is so nerve-racking and annoying that I want to punch all terrorists square in the face.

I have the system down and usually feel pretty confident while going through security but when you witness other people getting screamed at because they forgot they had a bottle of toothpaste or an unopened bottle of soda in their carry-on, you yourself start to feel uneasy.  Don’t get me wrong, I think the protocol is needed and anything that makes us more secure as a country is alright by me but those damn terrorists really fucked flying up for all of us.

Take off your shoes, take off your belt, separate all them when putting them on the conveyor belt.  Walk through the metal detector. Whoops, you beeped, please do it again.  Oops you beeped again, now you get the wand.  Heaven forbid you beep during that, then you may get have to get a full cavity search (thank goodness, I’ve never had that pleasure…yet).

There’s no joking around with these people either.  I went through the metal detector with my Red Sox hat on and had to remove it and have it inspected by the attendant.  I jokingly said, “Ha must be a Yankees fan.”  The attended sternly stated that, “no sir, this is just protocol, it doesn’t matter which baseball team I like.”  Easy there lady, I was just joking with you.  The security seems too brash and if they lightened up a bit, I bet everyone would be more relaxed.

While flying is the quickest and generally the easiest way to get to your destination, those stupid American-hating Muslim bastards really fucked it up.  I think that all the terrorists we capture and hold prisoner should be lined up after the security gate at the airport and every passenger should be able to kick them in the nuts after they go through the hassle they created.  It would make us all feel just a little bit better about the process and I for one would actually look forward to the proceedings.  Who’s with me?  I wonder if the White House website has a suggestion box I can send this to…