RIP To A Very Good Friend...

THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN POSTED on 3/1/2011 - Trouble with posting prevented you from seeing it.  Here it is.
I have to write today about some pretty sad news.  A good friend of mine passed away over the weekend and it’s such a shame.  He was only 33 years old and has a five year old daughter that he adored.  Though we hadn’t spoken in about a year, there were no hard feelings and I was hoping one day to become close again.  His name was Tom and he was one of the nicest people I’ve met in my life.

Tom went through a divorce about a year and a half ago and as usual in that scenario you only continue to be close friends of one or the other.  In this case, the ex wife had the young daughter who is very close with my son so we naturally stayed close with her.  There was no bad blood or even resent with Tom, we just grew apart because he separated himself from friends that his ex was with.  The last time we hung out was near the end of the summer of 2009 and he was actually telling me about a new lady in his life.  He seemed happy and I later learned that he married her.  We spoke a few times through Facebook but nothing too in depth.  I guess I could have made a better effort but I was in a tough position as I am close with the ex and I didn’t want any resentment on either side.  I regret that now and wish I could have been friends with both of them.  I guess this has taught me that no matter the situation I need to be friendly with both parties of a divorce.  There’s too much to lose in the end.  Maybe it’s me, but sometimes it takes a tragedy to change your future ways.

I met Tom about four years ago through our children and we instantly hit it off.  It was nice hanging out with a couple that had a child around the same age as ours and we hung out quite often.  The news of the divorce shocked both my wife and me as they seemed like a great couple.  Tom’s best quality was that he was one of the most trustworthy people I’ve ever met.  My favorite memory of him is when he attended the bachelor party of one of my best friends.  I was so busy running around getting things organized and making sure everything was on schedule that I needed someone to hold the enormous amount of money that was coming in.  As you know, a bachelor party has money coming from all over.  Between people buying tickets at the door, raffles and games, the money is all over the place.  Since I was running around so much, I trusted Tom with keeping track of all the money and even though he didn’t know many people there and I only knew him for less than a year, he took the responsibility and really helped me out.  He made sure all the money was accounted for and held onto it the entire night.  He was just a stand up guy.  After the stag, we went to a local bar that he frequented and we had a great conversation about life and kids.  It’s something that I’ll always remember and wish I could talk to him again.

Usually deaths don’t affect me much and I suppose that’s because I haven’t had a lot of close people in my life die yet.  Most wakes and funerals I attend are for older people (grand parents, older family members, older friends of the family, etc.) and those people you expect to die.  They’re old, it’s there time.  Tom was 33 and in really good health.  He hiked, jogged and really took good care of himself.  A brain aneurysm combined with a series of strokes took down a man in his prime.  It’s a tough thing to deal with.  I feel awful for his little daughter and hope he’ll be watching over her for the rest of her life.  Maybe it’s me but these types of deaths are explanation-less and you really can’t make sense of them….

Rest in Peace Tom…..I’m sorry we drifted apart and I’ll miss you.