Fundraising Campaigns At Work!!!

You know what I really hate?  I hate when my company hassles me and wastes my time in their damn money raising campaigns every year.  EVERY year I’ve been working for this company, which dreadfully just passed 10 years, I’m hit with the

United Way

campaign AND the Let’s Go Arts campaign.  I don’t really have anything against both charities, well I shouldn’t say that because I strongly dislike the Let’s Go Arts program, but the way my company tries to extort money out of me is frustrating to no degree.

Not only do I get 2 to 3 e-mails daily about these fundraisers but I also get print-outs, posters, “contests”, and sometimes other methods of mayhem I can’t even fathom to explain.  For instance, one year we had a “silent auction”, and I put that in quotes because basically we had a tag sale with crap people didn’t want anymore and instead of throwing it away brought it into work and decided to try and peddle it off on us.  Sorry co-worker, I don’t want your used Foreman Grill or baby clothes from your demon offspring that I have to hear about everyday.

I wonder how much it costs for these fundraisers.  We always hear we raised this much money but did they take out what they actually spent?  How much paper did you use to print out those materials?  How much time did you waste writing up those terrible e-mails or meeting with the committee to come up with those awful ideas and “contests”.  I doubt it but I’m sure our shareholders are happy that we’re wasting company time to try and raise $400 bucks for the

United Way

.  (By the way, I’m fully aware that using company time for the blog is probably not what the shareholders want me doing.  Stop pointing that out d-bag.)

How about the Let’s Go Arts campaign?  Not only do I hate being bothered and hassled about participating but could we pick a sadder campaign?  It’s for the Greater Hartford Arts programs.  I’m sorry but unless it’s going to the artists that graffiti the terrible city of Hartford, CT I don’t really care about the Greater Hartford Arts community.  In fact, instead how about we just take the money we raised for the “arts” and give it to the city to help take down old abandoned buildings or clean up the once historic North Side of the city.  Nope, instead let’s give it to the Arts and not be able to walk in a once great part of the city.

Sorry, I got off track there, back to these horrible campaigns I’m bludgeoned with every year.  It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even read the e-mails or print outs, nope, I just hit the delete button and file the print outs in the recycle bin.  As for the “contests” and other great ideas they come up with, I do my best to be “busy” on a fake phone call or avoid the “temptations” of the cookie sale in the lunchroom.  I don’t want to buy a home-made cookie from my co-worker who I know most likely doesn’t wash their hands in the rest room and smells like they bathed in perfume because they got up late and couldn’t take a shower for $1.  Seriously, one cookie for $1?  I can get a whole box of Entenmanns’s or Chip’s Ahoy for that amount.

Maybe it’s me, but if you want my money for your fundraising campaign, stop hitting me over the head with it and stop with the unnecessary and very unwanted bullshit.  Just tell me what we’re doing and if I decide to drop some change your way, good, if not I don’t want you at my desk asking me about it.  I’m all for giving to charities but I’ll be damned if I ever do it at work again.

It's Valentine's Day so Make Sure you Love Someone or At Least Buy Them Something!

Ah, the good ole Valentine's Day is upon us again and you know what that means, it's time for my annual rant on how pointless Valentine's Day is.  I still don't get it and luckily I have a great wife who thinks mostly the same way I do.  We don't buy each other gifts, in fact this year I even got her to agree to a no cards rule.  I just simply explained that after I opened the card, I would hold onto it until Saturday then throw it in the garbage.  We're not in high school anymore, we don't have a shoe box full of love notes and cards we're saving to look at with our friends.  So no gifts, no cards just do what we normally do, which by the way is hang out and enjoy each other's company.

I just don't see the whole point of buying gifts, going out to a special dinner and cards.  I can do all those things any day of the year so why MUST I do it on February 14th?  Maybe it's because we have a kid now and getting a sitter is a pain in the ass during the week or maybe it's because we've been married for over 7 years and have spent so many romantic nights that doing it when we're "supposed" to feels awkward.  We go out to dinner all the time, have nights out by ourselves, I don't know, it's just crazy to me because we have this crazy date on the calendar I'm supposed to love my wife more today.

Hey guys, how about you love your wife/girlfriend/friend/family (whatever) EVERY day and not just go overboard on Valentine's Day?  Maybe it's me but I'm sick of this commerical made-up holiday.  I say it every year and I'm going to continue to say it.  I guess it's good for the economy and shit but it's sickening the amount of people that look at this day like it's a magical day and they should be loved more than usual.  Get over it.  Do what I do, boycott it.  Spend the night in with that special someone, cook a nice meal and enjoy a peaceful night of romance (by the way, you can do that every other night of the year as well).

Clapping After a Movie

One of my biggest pet peeves happened again yesterday.  The dreaded clapping at the end of a movie!  I don't fully understand what the clappers get out of the practice.  Do they understand that no one that made the movie is in attendance?  Do they think that I or my other fellow movie patrons actually care that they liked the movie enough to warrant an applause?  I've seen this so many times, it's pretty hard to count, actually I'm willing to bet that at about 90% of my movie theater experiences there has been clapping after the movie.  Well, maybe not, I've seen some real bombs at the movies but I'd say that 75-80% of the movies I see, some idiot or most likely idiots clap after the final scene.

I just don't get it.  Who are they clapping for?  The actors, director and producers aren't there.  The theater ushers waiting to clean up the eight dollar popcorn you barely finished don't give two shits about what you thought about the movie.  Believe me, I could care less!  It's not like if I was on the fence if the movie was good or not, I'm going to be swayed by your clapping.

Maybe it's me but it's time to stop clapping at the end of a movie.  Let's save the clapping for live events (sports, Broadway, etc.) and just file out of the theater and get on with our lives.

Perhaps I should start a new trend...Every time I hear clapping at the end of a movie I'm going to BOO loudly.  Even if I enjoyed the movie.  That way I could really piss off these people.  I'm sure that will spark some debate and best of all....FIGHTS!